A fragment of the Book of Sock was discovered on an ancient thumbdrive on or before 2017. Miraculous it was still readable! This may or may not be related to the Holy Order of Sockism.
The Gospel of the Word Of Sock (WOS)
3:37 He warned them polyester cotton blend may feel pleasant to the touch, it is naught but deception.
3:38 They did ignore him and rubbed the sock upon the balloon only to perish in a cloud of tumultuous fire.
The Law is Given
WOS 4:1 And the people did stare.
4:2 Then the word came from on high: These are thy care instructions. See that thee follow unto them from generation to generation, father to son, mother to daughter, cat to dog.
4:3 And the people did tremble in fear.
4:4 Most important, do not mix darks and whites, lest ye run.
4:5 Bleach only that which is white, and do not let it spill on thy clothes.
4:6 Dry in the sun and thy days will be sunny. Woe is to they that wring out, they will have their reward.
4:7 Use cool water as if from a stream on darks and reds, and the rainbow will shine with all the colors.
4:8 Separate the colors when washing, but wear them mixed if thine hipster clan require it.
4:9 When a hole appears in heel or toe, the body is to be laid to rest with all veneration. And the pair of the two will Disappear, and much cursing shall ensue.
4:10 The people were silent, as if struck dumb.
4:11 And the wind howled and the coyote barked. Still no one moved ere they be called upon to answer.
4:12 And day became night. And night turned to day.
4:13 And they looked around and all the people had fled in the night. Not a sound had they made.
4:14 But they left in their wake a sea of offal and refuse. And the old man cried at the sight.